Okay. I’ll be honest.
This is not a post about games.
It's also a parody/tribute of Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. And it’s not going to make much sense if you haven’t seen the musical, or the movie. If that’s the case, stop reading; go watch both. Start with the musical, tho. A pretty decent cam-rip of the original Broadway version is surely to be found on the 'Tube, should one go searching.
And, yes — *pushes up glasses* because, I can tell, you're dying to read more opinions about Sondheim — the original musical is superior to the movie, as most sources to their adaptations typically are. But the movie is worth watching in its own right. Half the cast of Harry Potter is in it. True story.
Anyway, this ridiculous thing made *me* laugh. May Sondheim's dark lyrics brighten your quarantine, as they have mine.
Click to embiggen. Also, in the spirit of Flash FictionTM, this text remains unedited from its original 10-minute braindump. Sry 4 tyops.